About:Me
The Nitty Gritty:
I’m a 37 year old gay white male currently living in San Francisco, CA. Cajun by birth, I grew up in the backwoods of East TX and have the scars to prove it. I spent a good many years living all over the country in an attempt to find myself. I’ve worked in so many jobs I lost count ages ago. Your acceptance of who and what I am is not required but your respect is appreciated.
The Blog:
What can I tell you that you haven’t read from the 100 things or the blog? I started blogging out of curiosity. Then as a mechanism to deal w/a very difficult and painful breakup. Now, it has become a chronicle of my life and the struggle to be a better man. The blog runs the gambit from the utterly mundane to life changing realizations. And before you think I’m just the philosophical type, read on. I’m a comical bastard to say the least. Sometimes, I crack myself up. How’s that sound for warped? I rarely focus on the news in the world today. So many other fine folks are doing a great job of beating that horse to death. Instead, I focus on the purely boring personal advancement of my own life.
Where I came from:
My life started out pretty hard. I was adrift for a long time w/o any hope or plans for the future. I’ll be honest, it’s hard to worry about right from wrong when you aren’t sure where you next meal might come from. I’ve done things I’m not proud of. Things that shame me. Thankfully, I’ve moved beyond just getting by. I have a chance to make amends for the mess of a life I’ve created. I used to obsess over not being butch enough, buff enough, rich enough, etc. No matter what I did, I was never good enough. My self-image and self-worth were directly tied to my sexual conquests. I wasted years pretending to be someone I wasn’t. In the process, I created an outward shell I projected to the world in an attempt to protect myself. I was good at it too. So good in fact, I woke up one day to realize I couldn’t separate the real me from the shell. I realized I didn’t like the person I’d become. It’s taken me just as many years to dismantle that shell and move on w/my life. And for all my accomplishments, there have been casualties along the way. I’ve lost many friends, some out of choice, others out of necessity.
Where I am now:
Now, I’m left to examine the man I’ve become in the last 10 years. I like to think I have a very evolved view of the world. Purely subjective of course, but for simplicity we’ll leave it at that. I have my own set of ethics and moral guidlines. While many of my views conflict w/societal norms, they are unclouded by religious propaganda. My belief in God falls clearly into the metaphysical. It is from this perspective I live my life. I often have a clear view of right from wrong however, my view is tempered w/the realization that life is not always a simple choice between the two. If it were that simple, we wouldn’t have so many shameful conflicts in the world today. I often make reference to my sexual exploits in the blog as a reminder that I’m not ashamed of my sexuality. I don’t harp on them as it has never been the focus of the blog. There is no shame in enjoying carnal pleasures provided it is balanced w/the rest of your life.
As you can see, I certainly have an opinion and have no problem sharing it. I make a concerted effort to include my inflection and style of speech in my writings. I’m fond of saying, “I try to be the type of man I’d like to date.” I can’t think of a better way to describe my goal(s). I try to live my life by a very simple axioms. Not always successfully mind you but, there in lies the struggle.
- Compassion and humility are excellent teachers.
- Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
- What you think of me is none of my business.
- Confidence can’t be given. It must come from within.
- No one can make you feel inferior w/o your permission.
- Sex is easy, commitment is hard
- Being true to yourself involves understanding and acceptance as much as honesty.
Throw in my love of movies, my warped sense of humor, and my overriding desire to help those around me and you begin to see what it is to be Moby.
